Doctor in the Big D
by AshleySciFigirl
Summary: ...and I do mean Dallas! Extra-dimensional portals are temperamental for sure! Feel free to review!
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I only own the Isabel and Margaret. The rest I wish I did, haha. **

**Chapter 1**

In a tiny, dark kitchen, the glow from several computer monitors lit up the eager face of a young woman as she held her finger above the launch key. A thrill went up her spine and she could almost feel the power emanating from the device. A small but powerful battery charged up, feeding into the device. Would it be enough?

---

Meanwhile, the TARDIS sailed silently through the heavens.

In the kitchen, Captain Jack Harkness was reading a magazine while waiting for his eggs to cook on the cast-iron skillet atop a cast-iron stove. Sure, there was the nutrition machine, but Jack enjoyed cooking things from scratch. He'd gotten used to it in the 19th century and found it took up tedious travel time.

Travel time he had. After the whole children of earth incident, the Doctor had invited him to hang around for a bit, and well, Jack had nothing better to do. He didn't work for Torchwood anymore and his daughter wanted nothing to do with him. No, it was just a pair of old bachelors winging it around the universe. Not too shabby, if you didn't mind being gunned for by various cranky ol' aliens.

Suddenly, the TARDIS shook. The skillet with Jack's breakfast slid right off the stove and crashed into the wall, spilling its contents. With a curse, Jack threw down his magazine and held onto a brass arch. "What's goin' on, Doc?" he shouted into the intercom. "It had better be someplace—or some some_when_---good; you spilled my breakfast! And I'm starving!"

"You'll live," replied the Doctor, not realizing the pun. "We have encountered a very strange anomaly in space. Hurry up and see it. It's a doosey."

Jack sighed, glancing longingly at his ruined breakfast. Grabbing a banana, he sprinted toward the main consol room even as the ship continued to shake.

--

The brainy specs were out by the time Jack reached the consol room ten minutes later. The Doctor leaned over the computer screen. "What do you make of this?" he said, running his hand through his semi-spiky brown hair.

Jack looked down. "It looks like a tear in space…with particles being sucked into it." Indeed, multi-colored streamers of light and small rocks were being sucked into the rip.

The Doctor nodded, a bright, inquisitive light in his eyes. "Ten minutes ago, it opened up right in front of us. Its gravity well immediately stopped the TARDIS's forward motion and pulled us into real space, in front of a nova, bits of which are also being sucked in. It's also giving off a strange signal that---" The TARDIS rocked again.

"Can we stop it?" asked Jack.

"I can try. Hold on." The Doc's thin hands flew over the controls, pulling this, pushing that, pressing another.

Jack grabbed the deck rail as the ship rocked even more violently. "Not workin', Doc…"

"Here we go!"

The rip in space suddenly grew larger and a bright flash of light assaulted their eyes as the TARDIS was sucked in. Jack and the Doctor were thrown to the deck after a final spin and sway. Then the lights went out.

--

Far away, the young woman yelped as sparks flew from her computer, her device and the triangle-shaped metal frame in front of her. Several pieces fell off. "Monkey muffins, not again!" she muttered. "Nothing at all! Six months and nothing at all!" She put on a welding mask and set to welding the metal pieces back together.

---

The Doctor and Jack rose to their feet. The Doctor fished for flashlights under the deck. "That's better," he said cheerfully, throwing one to Jack. "Never travel without one."

"Good for you," Jack said sarcastically. "What's with the deep night?"

"Weeelllll," drawled the Doc with a frown. "I hope it's not what I think it is."

"And that would be…?"

"Parallel universe." He held up a glowing green crystal. "24 hours."

Jack winced inwardly and the Doc sighed. "Let's have a look, then."


	2. Chapter 2

The TARDIS has landed behind a round building---a sports stadium from the looks of it. Large crowds of people passed them, dressed in rain-coats and ponchos and baseball caps and cowboy hats. The Doctor sniffed the rain-cooled air. "Hmm, I'd say early 21st century, southern part of the United States. It also smells like a fair of some sort---smell that wonderful ol' grease!"

"Show off," grumbled Jack and his stomach. The Doctor just smiled.

A grey evening sky hovered above as they left the TARDIS parked under a tree, and began to walk around the southern part of the stadium. Following a tree-shadowed path, they wound their way around the stadium through the crowds. To their left was a brightly-lit midway, full of rides and throwing games. They rounded the stadium. A fifty-foot man in cowboy hat and yellow shirt towered over them. "Howdy, folks, I'm Big Tex! Welcome to the great State Fair of Texas!"

The Doctor laughed and punched the air. "Oh, yes! I've _always_ wanted to come here! I managed to make a few Cotton Bowl Classics but never the State Fair! Brilliant!"

Jack rolled his eyes. "What's so great about a big redneck cattle show? I saw enough of them in the 19th century."

The Doctor laughed again. "Oh, Jack, it's not a cattle show, really," he said. "It's hanging out all day with your mates, looking at overprized cheap jewelry and trinkets, wandering around art and car exhibits, rigged midway games and---lots of greasy, fattening foods!"

Jack sniffed the air himself, and sure enough, he caught the tantalizing smell of roast sausage and turkey legs. "Well, as long as we're here…"

Suddenly, the Doctor's suit bleeped. He quickly withdrew his sonic screwdriver. "The same signal the TARDIS got," he said. "Coming from…that direction!" He took off running. Jack sighed longingly at the passing turkey legs and followed.

--

The signal took them past the food court, and a large pond where giant plastic swan-boats bobbed along. They found themselves in a large crowd. The Doctor stared in bewilderment. Hundreds of people were milling in front of the Science Museum.

That was not odd, but the fact that many seemed to be dressed not as 21st century humans usually were. The Doctor spotted costumes from various science fiction works: Star Trek (lots of Klingons), Star Wars (mostly stormtroopers), Stargate (men and women in American military uniforms. You name it, it was there. Costumes made of tin foil all the way to ones better than the sets had. Aliens, robots, starships. A large banner over the door read "THE SCIENCE OF SCIENCE FICTION."

Suddenly, screams erupted nearby and Jack and the Doc found themselves surrounded, literally, by at least a hundred people. The Doctor was hugged by women who were dressed as many of his girl companions, including at least twenty Roses, and smatterings of Sarah Janes, Marthas, Donnas, a few Jackies and even some Romanas. One girl even appeared to be dressed a Dalek! Not to mention many copies of himself. "Please sign my autograph, David, please!" they shouted, fifty pens and papers shoved in his face.

Jack too was surrounded by costumed people, especially ones dressed like Gwen Cooper and himself. This puzzled him greatly, but the attention made him not care, especially since some were looking at him like a god or a lover. However, they kept calling him _John_, or _Mr. Borrowman_. Who?

"Alright, alright!" the Doctor said. He started grabbing paper and pens. "Now, tell me who I should sign these as?"

One girl giggled. "David Tennant, of course!" though several asked for _The Doctor to Molly with love_, or _Ten to Faith_. Jack got _John_ or _Jack to Paul_ or _Linda _or_ Elizabeth_. They also kept babbling about the TARDIS or the next series or why can't you stay on the programme, please, please, please?? It was...odd. Odd and amusing at once.

All four hands cramped within minutes, and the Doctor could feel the screwdriver bleeping. But finally the last autograph was signed. The costumed fans groaned when the Doctor held up his hands. "Alright, friends," he said. "I'm afraid Jack and I must be off for the moment. Got a signal coming into the sonic screwdriver that we must investigate!" Several burst into tears, but waved enthusiastically as the pair ran off. The Doc had to forcibly remove Jack from smiling dangerously at his group. They took off running away from the crowd.

"That," the Doctor said as they passed through the entrance to the State Fair, "was the most bizarre thing I've ever seen! It's like they know everything about us! It's almost worse than LINDA!

Jack laughed. "I could get used to it!"

"Well, you'd better get used to it quick."

"Why?"

"We're being followed. They didn't buy what I thought was a very clever excuse."

Jack looked behind them. Sure enough, at least a dozen fans--three Doctors in tan coats, one Jack, three Roses and assorted villains---were tailing them! Jack didn't think they cared if they were the real deal.

"Let's see if they can keep up!" called the Doctor, pulling even faster ahead.

"The bus, Doc!" Jack swung himself through the doors of a yellow bus marked DART just as it was closing, pulling the Doctor behind him. Outside, their worshippers stopped, out of breath and time. They waved feebly. The Doctor and Jack waved back, much relieved.

--

The psychic paper didn't work. The driver only gave them a ride because Jack smiled at her. It was a pleasant drive through Dallas, Texas, past new office buildings and old, run down tenements and large, old expensive houses. And no one recognized them. The Doctor quite enjoyed it, despite being stuck in---yes, October 2012, so said an abandoned _Dallas Morning News_. Nothing interesting happened that year and place, if he recalled rightly. Being chased by a mob of science fiction fanatics hardly counted.

They got off near the Dallas Zoo.

The bus pulled away, leaving the Doc and Jack in a cloud of diesel smoke. "Well, we're nearer the signal," said the Doctor, cheerful again. He pointed the screwdriver to the right and headed towards a group of run-down apartments and entered a littered alley between two buildings. Then---"No!" the Doctor growled. The bleeping stopped. "No, no, no!"

Jack sighed. "Great, just great. Now what?"

The Doctor frowned. "No idea. But the signal definitely came from this area." He looked intently around, as if he could stare right through the walls and find the origin of the signal. Hands through the hair again as he walked forward through the rubbish-scattered alley.

Then two things happened at once.

One, the Doctor slipped on a soda can that appeared to have metal wings attached to it. He landed on his rear with a cry.

Second, a large metal object fell right in front of them, not a foot away. Pieces of metal from the impact hit the Doctor and Jack, both of whom were instantly grateful to the soda can.

"Good riddance, you lousy piece of junk! I hope you rot down there with everything else that doesn't work!"

The men instantly looked towards the voice that was addressing the metal object. A second-story window above them framed a pale, angry blonde, young woman wearing welder's mask.

Jack shouted, "Watch where you're throwing things! You almost killed us!"

The woman groaned. "I almost hit my best friend yesterday with the triangulating thermosynthesizer. I'm totally---" Then she squinted down at them and her eyes widened. She squeaked and slammed the window shut. Then the tiny door to the fire escape burst open and she flew down the fire escape to them, a medical kit in hand. Throwing herself down next to the Doctor, she started to examine him. "I'm so sorry! I can't believe of all people that I almost killed you!" She squeaked again at the sight of tiny scratches on the Doctor's face. "Oh my gosh, you're bleeding! Gotta get you to the hospital, come on!" She grabbed his hand and tried to pull him along, but the Doctor grabbed her wrist.

"I am not dying, miss!" he said.

"YES YOU ARE, DAVID TENNANT---"

"NO I'M NOT. WILL YOU CALM DOWN?"

"NO, BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME OR THE BBC WILL!!!"

He finally managed to pin her arms to her side and stared her down. "Calm. Down. Breathe."

She took a deep, shaky breath.

The Doctor smiled and let go of her arms. "Now, there. Yes, I've got some scratches, but I am not dying. I'd know if I were dying."

She seemed very relieved. "Ok. You're not dying, but I almost killed you." She burst into tears. "Is, is there any way you can forgive me???"

He laughed and handed her a handkerchief. "Of course. These sort of things happen. Right, _John_?" He winked conspiratorially. At least this fan wasn't asking for their autographs.

Jack winked back. "Right,_ David_."

The woman smiled and stopped crying. "Great. But, is there anything I can do to make up for it? I mean, I, I don't have much money, but I get paid next week---"

The Doctor waved her off. "Nah, all is forgiven. We'll be going, then."

Jack hastily put in, "Though, of course, we could use some breakfast, or coffee at least. We just crossed town from the Fair, where we were chased by some slightly dem---enthusiastic fans."

The woman grinned and hopped up and down. "Oh, sure! I've got a whole pot of coffee. Keeps me from crashing after all-nighters. Come on up!" She ran up the fire escape ahead of them, excited and nervous at the same time. "Oh, wait just a sec." The door shut and they listened to the sounds of paper being pulled off of wall and things being shoved into holes. She opened the door and grinned. "Come right in!"

The tiny apartment consisted of a living room and a kitchen. Except for a TV, DVD player, bookcase (suspiciously bare), and a bed-couch huddled in a corner, most of the two rooms were taken up by tables piled with all sorts of computers and electronic equipment, at least four in the living room and two in the kitchen. "This is my little corner of the world, just me and my projects."

The Doctor squinted. "Was that a project flying out the window?"

She smiled sheepishly. "Yeah. It wasn't working. Like most of this stuff."

"What do you work on, Miss---?" Out came the brainy specs. She seemed amused by this before replying, "Dr. Isabel Evans. Please to meet you. Cream or sugar?" She vigorously shook their hands before running off to clear the table and fetch coffee. The Doc and Jack exchanged glances as they sat down.

"But yes, projects. Mostly astrophysics, but it really involves everything like..." She rattled off a long list of long words that Jack hoped were English. The Doctor, however, _hmmed_ and nodded.

Isabel paused to take a breath. "But that's all boring to you, I'm sure. It bores my best friend Margaret." She nervously set down plates of slightly stale cake for them.

"Oh, it's fascinating," said the Doctor truthfully. "I rarely meet anyone who knows about physics."

"I guess not," replied Isabel with a laugh. "Except your writers, and maybe they don't know much either."

"Writers?" asked Jack.

She blinked. "Yeah, the writers on your TV shows that me and Margaret watch religiously."

"Oh, right, right," he said, slapping his knee. "The writers on our shows. Ha, sometimes it seems all so real that I forget we're just, um, actors."

Isabel laughed, buying it. "Haha, your fans forget that too. You mentioned the Fair? Wasn't there something today..."

"The Science of Science Fiction," the Doctor put in. "Yep. I think your little project was almost kinder than the fans!" All three of them laughed. "So, about your latest project, Dr. Evans; what was the nature of it? Only right to know what almost got me."

She smiled again, clearly taken in by his charms. "Well, since my time machine is waiting for a very expensive part---" Jack raised an eyebrow---"I had to work on my 2D machine."

"2D machine?"

"Yeah. It's supposed to open up a window into a second dimension in space. But all it does is whirl its gears at me."

The amused look on the Doctor's face disappeared. "You are trying to open a window into another dimension?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, but it doesn't work."

"How do you know?"

"No window opened up in front of me. I would have seen something, a rip, tear, blob, whirlpool, right in the door." She indicated two seven-foot-high pieces of metal leaning together to form a triangle. Exposed wires---clearly previously attached to the metal box and several computers--hung limp from electrodes. "Nothing. Only sparks and whirling gears."

The Doctor suddenly stared her in the eyes, making her flinch. "How long? How along ago did you last try it? This is important!"

"About forty-five minutes ago. The lights went out too, for a moment, then came back on. But no show."

"Great Scott," muttered the Doctor. "That would be about right."

"For what? What's wrong, Mr. Tennant?"

The Doctor sighed. "I'm not Mr. Tennant. I am the Doctor, and your machine worked because my TARDIS got sucked into a tear in space. I guessed rightly that the power is gone because we're in another universe. Your lights went out because of the power drain or the nova remnant being sucked in too."

Isabel Evans gaped at him, then laughed. "No, way. You're not the Doctor. You're his actor. Silly, trying to scare me like that!" She refilled the coffee cups. "That would be ironic."

The Doctor rolled his eyes at Jack, who crossed his arms and smiled. "How about this for proof?" He pulled out his stethoscope and screwdriver and handed both to her. "My screwdriver picked up a signal and was bleeping at me until you---obviously--unplugged your device about ten seconds before throwing it out the window, one second after I slipped on more of your rubbish."

Isabel's took the screwdriver. She looked at it, examined it. Then she took the steth, nervously and plugged it into her ears. The Doctor placed the chestpiece over both of his hearts, one at a time.

Isabel quickly pulled the eartubes out, slapped in on the table and marched to the living room. The men watched as she paced back and forth, running her hands through her hair---much like himself, the Doctor noticed--muttering all sorts of scientific terms to herself. Suddenly, she stopped and stared at them. In fact, she marched right up the Doctor. He stood up, hoping she wasn't about to do anything odd.

Her blue eyes stared right into his brown ones, as if searching. In fact, she was. She smiled. "Only one perhaps can have two hearts and have eyes that are both old as the universe and young as spring. Doctor, do you know what this means?"

He leaned in. "What does it mean?"

She grinned. "Banana pancakes for supper."

The Doctor grinned right back.

--

With 24 hours before the crystal could recharge, Isabel got them to herself. It was the perfect evening. To sit with THE Doctor and THE Captain Jack and eat banana pancakes and banana splits and talk physics was the next best thing to heaven. The Doctor was fascinated by her devices. He politely declared her time machine a failure, but said they ought to be able to fix her 2D machine. "With two geniuses at the helm, it won't take ten minutes to reverse the polarity." Isabel's ears turned pink with being called a genius by a Timelord. It was a geek's heaven.

The pair were highly interested in the nature of her universe, a place they did not exist except for actors. "We're action figures?!" exclaimed Jack as she pulled her collection out. She nodded, almost embarrassed to show them, though the two men were clearly delighted by being able to make mock battles with miniatures of themselves and Daleks and Cybermen.

Then she showed them her DVD collection.

"Very expensive," she said, hauling out the box she had stuffed two hours before. "But I didn't want pirated copies, no sirree!"

The Doctor laughed at his faces on the cover. "Brilliant, just brilliant! I forgot about some of these travels."

Jack was disappointed that she didn't own his show. "Sorry, Captain; your show's too risque for innocent little me. You're a great guy, but I just can't watch you. My ears and eyes would burn off." He rolled his eyes but laughed, agreeing with her.

Of course they wanted to watch some of the episodes. Isabel reluctantly agreed, but she got to choose. "Nothing with Rose or Susan or the Master or Eleven," she whispered to herself as she rummaged through her dozens of episodes ranging from the 1960s to the present. She did not want to make the Doctor depressed, and she was sure those four would indeed do that to him.

"What about any of 'em with me?" asked Jack.

"Oh, Jack, you'd just drool at yourself," laughed the Doctor. Isabel was relieved; all the Jack episodes involved Rose or the Master.

"A-ha!" she proclaimed, holding up a set of DVDs. "Fancy revisiting some of your 'decorative vegetable' years, Doc?"

He laughed. "Oh yes!" Jack raised an eyebrow.

And so they did. Jack was highly amused, the Doctor loved it, and Isabel loved watching their reactions. She finally let them watch some of Ten's, which the Doctor declared massively bizarre. If he noticed the lack of references to the Master or Rose, he didn't say anything.

Finally at 4 the next morning, all three fell asleep on the couch.

That was, until they were woken up by screams.


End file.
